Dips and valleys

Yesterday was somewhat frustrating. In addition to just being outright exhausted from the running over the weekend, my ankle is doing this weird painful tweeky thing and I'm pretty sure I pulled a groin muscle. Therefore my effort just was totally WHACK!

I already wasn't feeling it when I left work; and even worked on talking myself out of going to the gym, but ultimately I ended up at the gym. My first instinct was to get on the elliptical rather than the treadmill, but my desire to knock out a few more miles on the week overtook my common sense. Big mistake...

Not too long after I got going at a good 5.3 pace, my groin muscle began aching with each step. I thought to try and run through it, as I had on Sunday at Greenlake, but it just seemed like a bad idea.  So about two tenths of one mile in I decided to do intervals. Jog for 2/10ths of a mile and briskly walk for 1/10th. Just before I reached a mile and a half of this routine, my right ankle started yelling at me suddenly and I found myself leaping off the machine. Sigh..horrible workout. I wasn't even feeling motivated enough to travel into the sweaty depths of the gym dungeon and lift weights to try and salvage my effort.

On my walk home,I felt myself being a little frustrated... "what if I'm really injured?".."what if I don't get better?"..." "what if this is my body telling me this whole idea of becoming a runner at this age is just STUPID?!" Big huge SIGH. I was on the verge of accepting that my running moment would be just that...a 3-week-moment.

After I made it home and in my shower, all those hopelessly pitiful thoughts had been washed away and I was ready to just relax, rest my body, have a good night's sleep amd recommit to my running first thing on the morning. I realized that these are just lil tiny things that could only get in my way if I let them..And that REAL athletes often endure lil twinges here and there so it's something to be expected. I just need to rest my parts for a couple of days and get my body ready for the five miler I have planned to run with friends this weekend.

I"m a "runner"....Apparently

So...apparently I'm a Runner!

I don't know how I got here, but after several attempts and many years of convincing myself I could never run like THOSE people, here I am. This weekend I ran 8 miles within a 24 hour period. Something that I would have  never ever thought possible. But hear I sit...and miraculously...can still walk; two days later. So, now that it seems I might survive, and quite possibly LIKE, this undertaking I've decided to blog about it.

Running...being a runner...jogging....making my feet move any faster than a quick stroll has always seemed like this looming dream of mine. I've always looked at people who run with such admiration and envy. I've always considered  them...like.. the EPITOME of athletic; but the dreams always seemed to escape me. Often times these super humans would run towards me on the street, in all their cool running gear...faces plastered with confusing smiles; as if they were actually ENJOYING themselves. I would regularly convince myself that they were lying to themselves and everyone else in the world. Cuz there was NO WAY on this earth of ours that anyone could enjoy the chest burning, lung incapacitating, fiery leg sensations..."just kill me now" feeling that running for distance ultimately brings. It took over 40 years, but my outlook on running has finally changed. And, I can finally join the ranks of those saying "I'm a runner"..(well almost. but don't kill my dreams ok...lol)

Up to this point my main reason for wanting to run has just been to accomplish something, seemingly, unattainable in my life. To be able to conquer a fear and overcome tricks that I've played on my own mind when it comes to attacking a physical challenge. Now, that I have actually been running consistently over the last few weeks, I can say that I have found a sincere appreciation for the process of running and the surprising meditative and calming qualities that it possesses. I'm sure about the "thought clearing" aspect just yet: as I've needed every little crevice of  my brain to focus on form, breathing, cadence etc. I never really knew there was so much to remember; chest up, head up, shoulders back, don't strike on your toes but not too far back on your heels, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, swing your arms at your side, but not too much...and on and on and on.

So far, my experience has been WONDERFUL. I managed to find some really cheap but perfect minimalist running shoes for myself that I came across at Macy's one evening while hanging out  with my co-workers during a late shift at work. They are the Adidas Element refine and they ROCK! Picking out shoes has always been my biggest anxiety when it comes to feeling properly prepared for the running world; as my feet are flat and underpronated a tad.Coming across these shoes was nothing short of a miracle! It went a long way to convince me that running was my DESTINY!!

Right now I am training for a 5K in late March, a 10 K in mid April and the Seattle Rock and Roll half marathon on June 13th. My goal now is to continue to enjoy my journey with finding my own love of running, staying consistent, focused and injury free. Sometimes it's hard to believe that it took me until now to finally commit to running, but at this point it's definitely getting to the "now or never" point, so I'm committed to giving it my ALL!